Through the Lens of Destruction

A few weeks ago, I’d written about robots registering on websites. I couldn’t for the life of me imagine that these robots were created specifically for the purpose of registering on websites, and therefore hinted at the possibility of robots having developed artificial intelligence and using the same to register on various websites. However, thanks to Subarna, who surprisingly turned out to be quite an authority on this subject, it turns out that I was wrong. These robots were in fact created specifically for the purpose of registering on websites!

Naturally, this would make you question the direction in which technology seems to be headed - I mean, robots that can register on websites isn’t exactly up there with ‘man on the moon’ and the ‘television’ when it comes to scientific progress. However, it makes much more sense when viewed in light of the fact that the real purpose behind these robots registering on websites was to destroy other websites (i.e. cause them to crash) by registering en masse and bringing the system crashing down. Mankind creating robots to register on websites does not seem to make much sense, but mankind creating robots to destroy their competitors’ websites sounds perfectly plausible. The sad truth is that many of our scientific breakthroughs do not seem to make much sense until viewed through the lens of destruction.

“Hmmm...seems like a good all-terrain vehicle, but a bit extreme, I’d reckon. Yes, the roads are dangerous and accidents happen, but is this level of armour-plating really required? And what about parking? Would be a hell of a task parking it, don’t you think – particularly in cities?” This is how the Generals would’ve first reacted to the battle tank, until they were told that it wasn’t just a transport vehicle but had the capability to blow entire battalions to pieces. Similarly, Enrico Fermi and the scientist bunch were probably yelled at by the government funding agencies to ‘stop fooling around with them nuclei and do something constructive (or destructive!)’, until the government chaps were made aware of the tremendous destructive potential of nuclear reactions.  At which point it was promptly hailed as the biggest scientific breakthrough since the printing press! And yes, who can forget the person who first invented the missile. At the grand unveiling he must’ve been greeted by a wave of snickering and hushed comments about whether this was his way of compensating for something he lacked; as opposed to the feeling of awe that a missile would inspire among today’s generals.

But coming back to the robots, I was seriously impressed with this bit of information. A parallel online world where vicious wars are being fought by robots employed by companies to hack into their rivals' websites, and I didn't have a clue about it! Why didn't they have this kind of stuff in the papers, instead of the usual "Manmohan called Advani a hate-mongering mosque destroyer; Advani called him a wuss in reply" sort of headlines? Imagine - we could have cool news items like "Wipro's robot army foils the Infosys robot army's bid to hack their website in a bitter online battle. 22 robots suffered irregular shutdowns during the all-out conflict." 

And how come such stuff doesn't show up on the company balance sheets, under the expenses column: "Maintenance of robot army that acts as the protector of our website and hacks into competitor websites"? There could even be an arms race of an altogether different kind – instead of the Americans and Russians stockpiling nuclear weapons that can destroy the world a hundred times over, we could have Wipro and Infosys stockpiling the latest robots (that can destroy the online world a hundred times over) with ultra-advanced hacking and registration capabilities, and a new arms trade market can open up dealing in integrated circuits, alloy wires, etc for robots. [A quick digression – why didn’t the Americans or the Russians just stop when they had enough nuclear weapons to destroy the earth once? What’s the point of spending billions more so that you can destroy the earth TWICE over or a HUNDRED TIMES over; isn’t it the same as destroying it once?]

Now, you might think that I’m getting overly imaginative and indulging in hyperbole here – that the whole robot business will never really assume such dramatic proportions. I’m willing to bet that this was exactly the kind of complacent attitude the Americans must’ve had during the Afghan War when a bearded old Saudi billionaire approached them asking for a Stinger and expressing his desire to ‘join the cause against the commie infidels’ – and look at what’s happened now!

This is what the companies would need to guard against as far as their robots are concerned – if they start destroying schools and order their females to stay indoors, the warning signs should not go unnoticed. Turning a blind eye and adopting an attitude of “Well, as long as they’re destroying the competitor websites, we can overlook this” is just the recipe for invoking disaster upon oneself. Before you knew it, the robots would bomb coffee machines and launch suicide attacks on senior management (although many would view the latter as a positive development), and things would rapidly go downhill from there.

Except for Hollywood, which would capitalise on this money-making opportunity by coming up with a few more “Stallone/Bruce Willis/any other action hero saves the world” kind of movies where they fight the evil robots and save humanity from complete destruction!