India Has Arrived...yet again!

While I did not check the news channels after Slumdog Millionaire’s Oscar victory, I can well imagine what the scene would’ve been like – non-stop Oscar coverage, repeating the same clips hundreds of times and general celebration over India’s arrival on the international scene. Particularly on the Aaj Tak/Headlines Today type of channels – this is probably what it would’ve been like:

Headlines Today Chap: Good evening, folks, and Jai Ho! On this historic night for India, we have with us in the studio some of the key members that helped shaped this proud moment – Anil Kapoor’s breakfast nutritionist, his third cousin, his cow and his goat. Yes, ladies and gentlemen – we will bring you an exclusive insider’s peek on what exactly Anil Kapoor had for breakfast on the biggest day of his life. We will then speak to his third cousin, who has known Anil Kapoor from close quarters and will tell us exactly what this means for Anil and the country. And representing the animal kingdom, we have Anil Kapoor’s cow and goat.

Other Headlines Today Chap: Thank you, Headlines Today Chap. We begin with Anil Kapoor’s breakfast nutritionist. Our viewers would be very interested to know what exactly was your breakfast advice to Anil on this historic day? Lately, a lot of concern has been raised over carbohydrates during breakfast – how did you help Anil tackle this problem? Also, reports have emerged suspecting that Anil has not exactly been going easy on the caffeine, given the kind of overzealous enthusiasm showed by him on previous awards nights. What was your advice on that front?

Expectedly, this is being hailed as India’s arrival on the international scene. The funny thing is, for how long will India keep arriving on the international scene? Any time any Indian does anything of note, the press tends to herald India’s arrival on the international stage – I can remember India having arrived for the following:

• Continuous success of the cricket team and the fact that it has developed consistency as well as a killer instinct – a sure sign of a new India confidently arriving on the world stage.
• Chandrayaan moon mission - a true statement of India’s arrival on the universal scene.
• Indo-US nuclear deal – evidence that India is now a ‘strategic’ player on the global political stage.
• Super-cool GDP growth rates – a sign of a new India arriving on the global economic stage.
• Bollywood movies doing well abroad, Shilpa Shetty and the whole Big Brother business, SRK and Salman wax statues in Madame Tussaud’s – all pointing to the fact that Bollywood has well and truly arrived at the global stage.
• Abhinav Bindra winning gold at the Olympics.
• Indian or Indian-origin authors winning a Booker prize pretty much every alternate year.
• Sunita Williams and Kalpana Chawla.
• Tata acquiring Corus
• Tata acquiring Jaguar-Land Rover
• Chaps like LN Mittal, Mukesh Ambani, etc making it to global rich-lists.

There are probably many more such examples that I would’ve missed out on, but you get the idea - – you’d think India should’ve arrived on the international stage a long time back by now! It’s almost starting to become one of the constants in life – the sun always rises in the East, Israel and Palestine are always fighting, Akshay Kumar always makes mindless comedies and India always arrives on the international scene!